Recently, the brother of a close friend and co-worker died. We (being the Senseis and I) went to the calling hours and stayed for the service. It was emotional. It was hard (twenty tissues hard). But it reminded me of something we have always felt.
That “always going to the funeral” isn’t just something you do out of obligation. But rather going to the funeral is a personal philosophy. It means that you do the right thing when you really no wanna.
I’m not talking about those big life events. But rather, those things that can be avoided… brushed off… and excused away with an “I’m sorry but I have a baseball game that day.” The things that are an inconvenience (or hardship) to you, but would mean the world to someone else. You know… the under-attended birthday party. The friend’s poetry reading. The hospital visit during your only free hour on the weekend.
In everyday life, these situations don’t come up too often. Most of the time we’re simply plugging along trying to do right and not wrong. But when those moments arise, it’s not a big, heroic act that makes a difference. It’s going the distance… showing up… and just being there.
Always go the funeral. It’s the small gestures that have the biggest impact.
